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This is an exercise I suggest for my clients when they tell me they’re feeling a disconnect between the life they want to be living and the realities of their current life. As with any coaching exercise, it is helpful to have someone (like me) asking questions to make sure you’re being honest, but I have written this in such a way that you can do it on your own. [You will need 15-20 minutes of uninterrupted time, a piece of paper and pen.]

Take a few moments to think about what a “good day” is for you. Not a holiday or your birthday or a day when you’re on vacation, but a regular day when you have work, school, errands or whatever else is part of your everyday life.

It should be a day when you feel confident and free, when your thoughts are positive and you make decisions that lead you to be the version of yourself you most enjoy being.

Do you have a day like this in mind? Hopefully you have several to choose from, but one is enough for this exercise.

Consider one of these days and picture yourself waking up and getting your day started…what are you doing and what kind of thoughts are you having?

Continue envisioning the day until you’re into the afternoon…make note of how you move from one thing to the next. What kind of interactions are you having with other people? What words would you use to describe how you’re showing up in specific moments when you like the version of yourself that you’re being?

Visualize the remainder of the day until you imagine yourself going to bed, then think back on the entire day.

What did you see, feel and notice during this “good day” that isn’t always part of your daily life?

Take a few minutes to write down everything you can think of that is part of a good day for you.

Seriously, don’t move on until you’ve written down everything that represents how you imagine thinking, acting and feeling during one of these good days.

When you’re ready to continue, organize your notes into categories and create a list of 5 things that are regularly part of a “good day” for you.

Write a short definition for each and give a few examples.

If you need help, here’s my list as an example…

When you feel good about your list, consider the following:

How would things be different if these were a consistent part of your daily life?
If it feels like a positive thing – how could you make it a reality?
If it seems difficult – what’s getting in the way?

Revisit this list in the coming days, repeating the exercise if needed, to make sure your list includes the things that most consistently help you be the version of yourself you enjoy being.

 

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